So, I thought, wouldn’t it be
amazing if I could somehow get him to notice RSCF? Wouldn’t he love to come meet Delilah and
Ninita and be our new best friend and advocate?
I mean HOW HARD COULD THAT BE, RIGHT???
Yes, I am that naïve and pie-eyed.
So I sent him some pictures and links on Facebook,
and wrote a probably way too long message, and asked all my Facebook friends to
like the message and beg ask him to contact us AS IF THAT WOULD WORK. Well, it did….sort of. Mr. Gervais posts pics every few days of
something mind-blowingly adorable with the caption, “I found this in my
belly-button.” I had the brilliant idea this
morning to send him a photo of Ninita with the post, “Mr. Gervais, Ninita, our
baby pygmy marmoset, would like to know if you have room in your belly-button
for her.” GENIOUS, AMIRIGHT???? Anyway, he actually responded today in the
comments with a smiley-face emoticon, about which I am totally excited and
consider “first contact”. Don’t judge, I
have no idea how you go about reaching out to famous people these days.
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| Who could possibly resist this?? WHO??? |
Another Facebook friend forwarded
me Mr. Gervais’ management contact info (I have no idea how she got that), and
I have decided to write a letter to ask if Ricky (yes, we are on a first name
basis since the smiley-face emoticon, right??) would consider meeting us and
maybe be a part of one of two documentaries we are considering. One about the Red-browed Amazon Parrot
Program, and another about Delilah and the Bongo Repatriation Program. Both are equally fascinating—one about a
species of parrot brought to the brink of extinction due to habitat loss and
the black market pet trade (lots of shady characters, mob connections and
even….MURDER), the other a story about the life of an orphaned baby bongo antelope
who beat the odds to survive, and her new role as ambassador for a program that
has brought her species back from the brink of extinction through captive
breeding. That, and the
successful-nobody-thought-they-could-do-it return of these majestic creatures
to their homeland on the protected slopes of Mount Kenya. Get your tissues
ready—it’s a tear-jerker.
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| Screen-grab of the Facebook post with Mr. Gervais SMILEY FACE ACKNOWLEGEMENT! |
So, how the Hell do you put that
into an email that is supposed to be two paragraphs no more than 5 sentences
each? That’s what I hear is recommended in a “cold call” like this because celebrities are inundated with requests and
if your communication doesn’t grab somebody’s attention in, like, 10 seconds or
less it’s one more dumped in the queue headed for the recycle bin. Notice, I used the word “queue”, which is
British, as is Mr. Gervai…I mean Ricky. Ever
since I’ve considered contacting him, all the conversations we have in my head
are with British accents. Yes, I am an
idiot.
This stuff just stumps me. I guess I’m supposed to strap a GoPro on me
and run through the field with Delilah for YouTube, or stage some sort of Vine
that you pray goes viral featuring Ninta and her toothbrush massages, but I
HAVE A REAL LIFE SO THAT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
I need the folks at Aardman Animations to do a Claymation video of
Delilah inviting Mr. Gervais to her prom or something. That’s still a thing, right? Young folks
asking celebrities in a video to go to prom with them? And yes, it’s Mr. Gervias—who am I
kidding???? Hey, Delilah asking him to
her prom is pretty damned good idea….hmmmmmmm….sigh, I need help.
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| Ninita getting a toothbrush massage. |
The thing is, we really need someone
with a supportive audience and a strong public presence to help us. We may be a tiny 30-acre facility at the end
of a dirt road, but we are home to some of the world’s most endangered wildlife
and we succeed where many larger organizations have failed. Unfortunately, we’re not so good at attracting
national support, or a “face”, for our cause.
Bring species back from the brink of extinction? No problem.
Establish vast tracts of protected habitat home to some of the world’s
most endangered plants and animals?
DONE. Contact a celebrity and get
them to support us? NOT A CLUE.
Why Mr. Gervais? Why any celebrity? We live in a time where a recognizable face
counts. A LOT. And more to the point, I
respect the man. He speaks his mind,
seems unafraid of voicing his beliefs, and we need that. Someone willing to tell the truth regarding
the status of our world and the incredible damage we have done to it. And also to show that we can effect change,
we can preserve what’s left of nature, but it ain’t pretty and it ain’t
easy. While I am grateful to the recognizable
voices behind many “nature shows”, I don’t see Oprah, Morgan Freeman or Alec
Baldwin willing to stand up and say out loud what we all know is true—humans have
wrought a holocaust against nature with heinous consequences. I believe Mr. Gervais has the balls to do
just that and more.
So, Mr. Gervais, if you see this—please contact us. There is a tiny monkey, some truly
amazing parrots, and a young lady bongo antelope who really want to meet you. Who really NEED to meet you.
Now, to squeeze this into two
paragraphs 5 sentences each. Sigh…..
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| Kisses to you Mr. Gervais! |
